Phil Dirt - Reverb Central - PO Box 1609, Felton, CA 95018-1609 USA
The T-Bones - No Matter What Shapedot
artworkThis Dave Pell studio band cut many a track, most like fluffed up Mar-Kets stuff. Except for their rendering of the title track, this is the bottom of their heap. Cheesy mall organ mung over poorly recorded chemistry free repetitive backtracks. There are a couple of bright moments, but only by contrast. Players included Danny Hamilton (guitar), Joe Frank Carollo (bass), and Tommy Reynolds (guitar, keys, drums). These three later formed Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds. Hamilton was the writer of a number of classic and often covered surf instrumentals, including most notably "Diamond Head."
Picks: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In), Chaquita Banana, Fever, What's In The Bag, Goose, Moment Of Softness, Let's Hang On, Slippin' 'N Chippin', Don't Think Twice, It's Alright, Hole In The Wall, My Headache's Gone, Pizza Parlor, Lies

Track by Track Review

No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In) dotdotdot
Disco Surf (Instrumental)

Except for the seventies funk dry chop guitar, this is studio dribble as infectious as any commercial backtrack can be. It's the sort of track you love to hate, but find yourself whistling anyway.

Chaquita Banana
Rock (Instrumental)

This is a very cheesy sluggish interpretation of another TV ad theme. So slow, it puts you to sleep - no chemistry at all, and those bubble girls... argh!

Fever dotdot
Rock (Instrumental)

This organ led small combo treatment of the Peggy Lee torch song is less than interesting, but better than an offhanded rejection. Slow and sorta geek cool.

What's In The Bag, Goose dotdot
Rock (Instrumental)

In the sixties, Granny Goose Potato Chips ran a series of ads with a "Marlboro Man" sorta character called "Granny Goose." Davie Allan cut a vocal single about that. The later series with the "I Don't Gotta Show You No Stinking Badges" / "Provocative Flavor" themes asks "What's In the Bag Goose?" It's just another sluggish track.

Moment Of Softness dot
Rock (Instrumental)

Named after the Zee Toilet Paper ads of the time, this misses the idea completely. In the ad, 15 seconds of beautiful nature scenes is followed by a message on the screen: "This Moment Of Softness Is Brought To You By Zee." It was a silent and very effective ad. This track is a fluffy bit of ho-hum, interrupting the very softness the ad portrayed.

Let's Hang On dot
Rock (Instrumental)

Bob Crewe's contrived tune is rendered almost useless in this pallid arrangement. At least in its Frankie Valley life, it had a bit if Northern Soul.

Slippin' 'N Chippin' dot
Rock (Instrumental)

More choppy drums and bass with cheesy organ and low brow arrangements. Never mind...

Don't Think Twice, It's Alright dot
Rock (Instrumental)

Jeez, the actually doubled the tempo, reaching the mid range. This is the sort of thing I used to refer to as non-offensive middle of the road... rock for drug addled housewives. After enough of this, no wonder they watched Lawrence Welk.

Hole In The Wall dotdot
Rock (Instrumental)

This is a reasonable arrangement of the Booker T. and the MG's tune. While it lacks anything that could be confused with soul, it does have a certain quirkiness that allows it to linger a bit longer than most of the mung here. The vibes in the lead are pretty cool, as are the congas.

My Headache's Gone dot
Rock (Instrumental)

Based on "No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach's In)," this falls short of interesting. let's leave it there.

Pizza Parlor dot
Rock (Instrumental)

If you're hoping for pepperoni, your in for disappointment. At least the harmonica is cool, but otherwise, it's just another Joe Saraceno session.

Lies dot
Rock (Instrumental)

OK, so they almost rock, but those girls... you'll have to use Velcro to hold granny in her seat.